throwing out the old...

.. and bringing in the NEW!
so for the past few weeks.. i've been actively redoing my room. even though it seems like we just redid it. (but it was really 4 years ago) boy how time flys. so when i say that i'm redoing my room, i really mean getting new furniture and giving away the old. same color, same ..."junk," as my mom would like to call it.
last week i got a bigger mattress =D (full) and 2 days ago i got new sheets and some throw pillows. a before we got the mattress, dad and i took apart my old bed and my old desk and well now it's in another spot in the house. ><
i wish i could keep my room like this. there's lots of room in here and it's niiiice =] i really like sleeping on the floor (on my mattress on the floor, that is)

when a room is nice and clean, makes you wanna do things. for example, i want to KEEP it clean! i want to organize every single thing (that'll take a year!)
i want to read every book i have.
i want to play with every toy.
i want to throw more things away.
i want to keep just as much.
i want to relive my childhood.
i want to share all my treasures with everyone.
i want to save up the money i find WOOHOO!
i want to decorate.
and i just want to relax and enjoy the beauty of having my own room.

whenever i clean my room, i remember how lucky i really am. to have all the things i have. to have all these things i don't need. to have my own room. to have running water. to have electricity for this laptop. to be able to enjoy any music i want. to be able to have so much that many aren't able to obtain in their lifetime. ...... then i get sad. and feel really guilty. that's why i give all my stuff away to charity. =] at least i'm giving back something.
i hope that someday i can afford to give away much more to those in need. if i can, my blood,sweat and tears, my hands to help, and my heart.

i ALWAYS would rather give than take anything. to anyone and everyone.

i don't understand why my parents don't see that anymore. they always see the things in me that they disagree with. why are parents such hypocrites sometimes?!... many of the times? i know i shouldn't complain about them, but i just don't understand. they raise me to speak for myself, not be so shy, have an opinion, and make my own future and not let anyone determine it for me. so of course, i take their advice. but what do they do? they get mad at me! i don't understand. they ask me if i like something, i say no.. they get mad. they ask me if i want something, they say "ok."....then later they get mad at me for begging for something they suggested. they complain i don't do one thing or another, but how am i suppose to know if i didn't even know the chore existed?! they yell instead of asking. they argue instead of talking. and they never finish an argument. i'm SO CONFUSED!
just because i don't like something, doesn't mean we can't keep it. i'm not the only one that matters. and since when did my opinion matter so much?
just because i want something, doesn't mean i need it. i don't really want everything i say i want. b/c that would mean a lost of wasteful spending.
just because i DON'T want something, it doesn't mean that i don't like it or that others won't enjoy it.
just because i dont want to DO something, doesn't mean i won't do it.
I'm willing, as long as you just ask nicely.
I'm a huge fan of "please" and "thank you." whether you're my mom, dad, grandmother, friend, or stranger, i'm more than willing to do anything (with in reason) as long as u just ask nicely.
now i really don't like conflict or arguing, but if it's necessary, i would really like to talk it out.
I always listen.. i will always listen.. as long as you give me the same kind courtesy.
I will always RESPECT you and try to be UNDERSTANDING, as long as i can get the same in return.

I PROMISE all of the above. and if i dont keep it, anyone and everyone is obligated to call me out on it. and i will graciously apologize if that is so.

k... well that's plenty for tonight.
time for bed.

~*Live. Laugh. Love*~