I'm not here

I'm not here where I am.

I see what's familiar, yet it's foreign.

I feel the same as before, but am so very different.

Life goes on, but I'm gone.

My heart is in your embrace. My soul is in your kiss. My mind is where you are.

I must ignore this and remember what I signed up for.

I must remind myself my sin and sacrifice.

My heart is not yours to hold. My soul is not for you to take. My mind is my own.

And I am independent from anyone else.

I am me. You are you.

I am where I have to be and so are you.

It wasn't meant to be.

This is the reality. I will erase what we had from my memory and live on the life I chose.

why?

Why is it that whenever something big happens things keep popping up everywhere that seem to relate? such as the music video your friend shows you that is pretty much about you at the moment. or the song that comes on that is telling you what you should do. or someone else's blog that's describing the very thing you've just done.

I've done something i'm not proud of, yet it made me feel so happy. Is this what the religious world calls a sin? All technicalities say it's fine, but my heart says otherwise. Why did what happen happen? Why is it that in some way i get what i want but it's not always what i should have had?

The Wave

If I die too young it would be too late

If I lived too long it would be too bad

Every morning I wake up to a new beginning

Every day I embrace a new adventure

The world I live in is my own

The world I live in is not my own

Some people see me as small

Some people see my big heart

By day I walk

By night I run

With the winter I work

With the summer I play

Inside these walls is self-discovery

Outside these walls is the unknown

Yesterday we ran

Today we jumped

Tomorrow we fly

But whatever I do, Whatever I say

I am

We are

I hate how i feel right now!

I despise you.

I despise myself.

I despise what we had.

I wish there wasn't ever a WE... oh wait there wasn't it was always YOU! FUCK YOU!

(no-title..yet)

I sing these songs for what I cannot say

So I fight these words

to keep the red a' bay.

The crimson hides behind these clouds,

and in the woods

thee purest shrouds.

But for what is thine reason for this mist?

The simplest counter

commenced, The kiss.

Maybe the pit, bitten many a times,

was bruised of the pangs of wretched teeth,

Or too many cuts by the sharpest knives.

You're gleaming a sharp lure

To the point where

Of a pattern sure.

These rivers flow fast down whilst

I drown burnt out

From this tight-ass gown.

Revive that flame

Save the night

Bring in the day

and Show the life within.

There Aren't Enough Words...

Everyday I'm liking you more and more.

Every time I see you my heart leaps.

Every second I think of you, I feel like singing.

Every minute I'm with you the world seems brighter.

Every moment we spend together is like a dream and I don't want to wake up.

I never thought I could feel like this.

You helped me believe in a myth.

I am a sparrow

I am a sparrow who sees her reflection,

But what I see is not who I am.

I am more, I am an eagle.

I see a flower of which I desire,

But what I desire is not what it seems.

I can find something better, more beautiful.

I desire a home I can call my own,

But that home is not here nor there.

So I'll build one in my heart.

I look to the sky...

The sky is infinite and high,

Luckly, I have the ability to fly,

Fly into the infinite unknown.

~*Live.Laugh.Love*~